Last supper

The Way of the Warrior

A couple of years ago, I read everything of Carlos Castaneda. The effect it had on my life was magical, and it also made my trips in train quite enjoyable. Today I pulled out a few quotes about death from the Wheel of Time because it helped me deal with the subject back then and so it seems now…

Only the idea of death makes a warrior sufficiently detached so that he is capable of abandoning himself to anything. He knows his death is stalking him and won't give him time to cling to anything, so he tries, without craving, all of everything.

One of the great aids that the shamans of ancient Mexico employed in establishing the concept of the warrior was the idea of taking our death as a companion, a witness to our acts. Don Juan said that once that premise is accepted, in whatever mild form, a bridge is formed which extends across the gap between our world of daily affairs, and something that is in front of us, but has no name; something that is lost in a fog, and doesn't seem to exist; something so terribly unclear that it cannot be used as a point of reference, and yet, it is there, undeniably present.
Don Juan claimed that the only being on earth capable of crossing over that bridge was the warrior: silent in his struggle, undetainable because he has nothing to lose, functional and efficacious because he has everything to gain.

A man, any man, deserves everything that is a man's lot - joy, pain, sadness and struggle. The nature of his acts is unimportant as long as he acts as a warrior. If his spirit is distorted he should simply fix it - purge it, make it perfect - because there is no other task in our entire lives which is more worthwhile. Not to fix the spirit is to seek death, and that is the same as to seek nothing, since death is going to overtake us regardless of anything. To seek the perfection of the warrior's spirit is the only task worthy of our temporariness, and our manhood.

The hardest thing in the world is to assume the mood of a warrior. It is of no use to be sad and complain and feel justified in doing so, believing that someone is always doing something to us. Nobody is doing anything to anybody, much less to a warrior.

A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions.

In order to help his ward to erase personal history, the warrior as a teacher teaches three techniques: losing self-importance, assuming responsibility for one's acts, and using death as an adviser. Without the beneficial effect of these three techniques, erasing personal history would involve being shifty, evasive and unnecessarily dubious about oneself and one's actions.

Princesses and Trapped in the Mirror

I got caught on a web of confusion after some harsh experiences during the past week or so and it took me awhile to shake off the mental block. It really takes “knowledge input on a continuous basis”. Last year I read “Trapped in the Mirror” by author Elan Golomb. Her writings proved to be, once again, very useful:

Introject is the hostile foreigner that watches you with a critical eye. It criticizes you with comments as “you’re a failure” and “why try”? Your feelings of depression strengthen its force. It makes you discard appreciation and distrust affection. Its punitive demands and paralyzing arguments stop you from trying to change. In repeatedly silencing my introject I learned more about the struggle. Eradication takes deliberate thought and effort. You need to identify the introject as foreign to your self. If we see it as a non-self, an identification that drives us to unacceptable roles, feelings, and behaviors, we can work on it.[...]

Reason and will can keep you going until you get support.[...]

If you putt off the quest for freedom you always will lack love.

But what really gave me food for thought today was the movie "Princesas". Geez, after that movie, my life suddenly seemed so perfect... Set in Spain, the story is about a friendship between a Dominican prostitute and a Spanish prostitute. Here is a review:

I am a great lover of cinema which has either been taken from live theatre or which delve into the realness of the human condition, of human feelings, which explore the depths of what makes people tick, of what makes people think, feel, love, hate, of what makes people on celluloid be real live living people with character and personality and deep feelings. In this aspect "Princesas" is a beautiful, moving, thoughtful piece which deserves great accolade. I left the cinema with very very deep feelings running through my heart and mind, such that I missed the bus-stop, and in the end walked all the way home - about three kilometres!

I must remember to watch a movie by Amenábar and León de Aranoa next time I get caught on a mental block :-)

Update (28/05/06): I just realize that my DVD had a defect on it, and I missed the end of the movie. Apparently the movie has a happy ending and some critics say it makes the characters quite unreal. Who knows, maybe one day I'll find out the end and judge by myself...